How to plan a (Humanist) Wedding?
So you’re newly engaged- congratulations!
You have told all your nearest and dearest the news, raised a glass of bubbles (or two!) and posted a picture of the ring/ engagement selfie on social media. Now what?
Planning a wedding can be rather intimidating. The majority of people in the U.K. still only get married once and even if it yours is a remarriage, it’s still not something that happens to us everyday. It can feel overwhelming to know where to start so I have created some top tips to help you get started and, most importantly, enjoy the process!
- Talk. Talk to each other firstly. For many couples, even if you have talked openly about getting married, you may not have talked about exactly how you have envisioned your wedding to look. You may have been dreaming of your wedding for many years and know exactly how you want it to be, you may have had no previous thoughts at all or you may not realise that you did have ideas or preconceptions in your head until you start to discuss it openly. I recall when planning our day, I had always thought I would have an Autumn wedding. (Not sure why exactly, maybe because my parents married in October.) It was only when my partner (now husband) starting talking dates that I realised he had a very different idea. That’s when it dawned on me that this was not MY day it was OUR day and, as is true in married life itself, it is all about compromise. We ended up marrying in April! Once you have decided between you how your wedding might look, it can be helpful to talk to trusted friends or family, especially if you have children, either together or from previous relationships, in order to involve them from the outset. This can inspire you, allow you to ask for support or, if they are/ have been married, find out about how they did it. Having said this, it is important to consult others but not allow them to dictate how your day should look which leads nicely to my next point.
- Consider what is important to you– from talking to each other, you should have a good idea of how you want the day (or days!) to look. To avoid feeling too overwhelmed and also to avoid disapointment later if your dream supplier is unavailable, work out what are the key elements for you. Do you want that amazing photographer and videographer duo so you can look back on your day with beautiful images and footage? Are you foodies who want a venue or caterers with your favourite style of cuisine? Are you all about dancing into the wee small hours and so the band is where it’s at for you? Being clear on your priorities can help you to build your day around the elements that are most important to you. The majority of folks book their venue first, but if, actually, it’s more important to you to have a beautiful, personal ceremony then you might want to find a Celebrant you really gel with first and then work through where you will marry afterward. Celebrants can be booked up for a good while in advance and the whole process of writing a script takes a good while so it’s always a good idea to reach out early! If needed, a Celebrant can help you find the perfect venue or even suggest alternative locations. We are not tied to specific premises, another benefit of a Humanist ceremony! Likewise, if something isn’t important to you then don’t sweat over it. We kept our tables really simple as it wasn’t important to us, whereas for some couples, crafting beautiful, creative table designs is really their bag.
- Reflect and embrace your identity– this can either be as individuals or as a couple. You don’t have to do anything just because your sister or friends’ did it that way. If there is something that matters to you then you can find a way to incorporate it into the day. A Humanist ceremony is the perfect way to do this as it is all about you and your love. Whatever you want your ceremony to look like, a Celebrant will find a way to make it happen- that’s our superpower!
- Take a load off- reduce the stress by delegating tasks to your wedding troop, getting piece of mind with wedding insurance or keeping track of budgets in a spreaddie- whatever works for you. If you choose a Celebrant then you can consult us about a range of things as we know weddings! You won’t get that from a registrar or even a vicar. Us Celebrants see ourselves as friends by the time we deliver your ceremony and really invest in you. We spend time getting to know you and creating your perfect ceremony so you can ask us for advice on anything.
- Talk– yes, I did deliberately repeat this one, keep talking to each other. This will ensure you are always on the same page and remind you why you want to be married in the first place- an important question a Humanist Celebrant will ask you.
- Enjoy– most importantly, enjoy the process and every element of your day.
I would love to help you build your perfect wedding day so please reach out to discuss my availability and how I can help you on your wedding planning journey. Best of luck!